pointment I found upon arriving at the chain gang that there was not one man out of the 53 prisoners with whom I could sit down and talk seriously intelligently and hopefully

To tell of my first three and a hall years of grief, growing horror and frustration would serve no pur pose here. To describe my escape motivated by sheer desperation, into the swamp for three days and my capture would tax credulity. Evenually the day came when I faced The fact that I had only one more year of prison to endure, and that scon I would be expected to re-enter society, to make good in spite of the brand of ex-convict Search as ! night. I could discover no opportu nity whereby I might rehabilitate myself and pull myself out of the swill I felt I had been wallowing in for so long The state offered released prisoners no facilities for linding obs. As many others before me, I had no relatives or friends to whom I could turn for help of any kind. I was told that I would be issued a cheap cotton suit of clothes. a pair of two dollar shoes and a ten dollar bill. So armed I was expected to re-establish myself as a free and independent mar among men. And I was vividly aware of the percen *age of men who failed to re establish in the face of these grim odds, often from no great fault of their own Too frequently a prison record is like like a repulsive facial scar, involuntarily causing people to turn from its possessor with disgust I had neither job prospects, funds nor clothing and it obviously wor ried no one but me No man, unti! he has faced such a predicamen: can fully understand how despair ing his outlook can become, or how truly futile the future seems

Then, without, warning, a letter arrived addressed to re Its arriva! 18

surprised the entire camp for I was

known as the guy nɔ ɔne wrote to How my 'situation came to the attention of the writer of the letter is another story. The letter, was from an admitted homosexual who wrote me openly and fearlessly and assured me that I did have friends and that I could make my future as bright as I wished Accompanying the letter was a check for ten dollars, the first money in excess of fifty cents that I had possessed while in prison. For the first time in almost four years I was able to buy tooth paste, hair oil, razor blades and a quart of milk at the same time The rest of that money I saved for days, Just marveling at the fact that it was mine So few people realize how much money ten dollars is I felt like a kid again on his first Christmas morning

I answered the letter and thanked the man for his kindness. But I was still wary I was looking for the phoney angle, the selfish reason for this sudden, unprovoked generosity (It never turned up.) Soon, twp letters arrived weekly, letters that were cheerful, encouraging, sensible and realistic-in short, morale building. The first of every month brought another ten dollar check for incidentals. As my release date ap proached, a trunk was delivered at the camp for ine In it was a complete set of shirts, socks, linen, shoes, muffler, gloves, ties, hat and a finely tailored suit and topcoat of excellent wool. The day before my release I received a wire for a sum of money that would permit me to travel by train to the city where I'd chosen to work and sufficient funds to live until I could support myself again. Upon leaving the train at the end of the journey I was startled to find that I was being met by friends who had been contacted oy my benefactor They had rented a comior-

•

mattachine REVIEW

table room on

a quiet street for me and had arranged for me to go to work within the week at my first job as a free man

That was seven months ago and now I am beginning to feel that my reclamation is complete. Everyone I know is familiar with my prison background for I do not attempt to hide it. Oddly enough, I am not ashamed of my past, (as I do not live in it), for I now understand what real pride is. As one of my new friends put it recently, I am a graduate of the toughtest university in the world. But thanks to my advi sor I've majored in a constructive field.

、 Occasionally I am amazed at how hard I work to justify the selection made by that small group of homosexuals, who, with great faith and courage, picked up the reins when society dropped them and turned its back on me. I know now that I am not the first man to have received this aid ncr will be the last There have been many others, and I have been told that not one of them has ever given this unknown group cause to regret the understanding and the aid that was offered. Now that I am financially able to do so, I am repaying my debt in the only way I can, by helping those who are in the same seemingly hopeless state I once knew so well I am doing the same thing that was once done for me, for a young man that I met in prison. I

ARCADIE

first considered offering him this aid when he once remarked that he telt sure he could become a credit to his home town if he could only feel that someone cared what happended to him. I am trying to show him that someone does care

Because of a homosexual's courage and the faith that his friends showed in his courage, I know half a dozen men who are now responsi ble citizens and who, without the encourgement they received might still be a burden on society Indicative of the sincerity of this group of men is the fact that they offer their assistance to any man they feel is deserving, whether he be heterosexual or invert. As yet their group is small and their funds limited. They have no formal organization and they make no effort to recruit donors or raise funds. But small as their circle is the significance of it is tremendous. Seeing a need, they act to alleviate it; and when even a few homosexuals are capable of acting so selflessly in the face of a hostile world, there is hope for a better life for all of us.

These are some of the things that the bilge magazines do not discuss. But they should be discussed and all homophiles should be proud of their fellow homosexuals who offer their time, money. understanding and love-of-humanity generously, for here can be found the mark of the true man.

८

Monthly literary and scientific review. Articles in French, some English. Sub-

scriptions $9 per year. Address: Arcadie, c/o Cercle de France, 162 Rue Jeanne d'Arc, Paris XIIIe, France.